"Well, I hope you're keeping it tasteful"
Patrick Falaniko • 10 August 2023
When I tell people I’m a boudoir photographer, one of THE most common replies is “well I hope you’re keeping it tasteful”. 🙈 Maybe I’m overthinking it, but there seems to be an attitude that women should behave ‘ladylike’ and can’t be trusted to make decisions regarding their own sexuality and self expression. I’m interested to know do you think?
Empowering Women Through the Lens: Challenging Stereotypes in Boudoir Photography
Let’s dive into a topic that's been on my mind lately—the world of boudoir and nude photography. It's a fascinating space where art, self-expression, and sensuality collide. Yet, it's not uncommon to encounter raised eyebrows and comments like, "Well, I hope you keep it tasteful."
Let's unpack that, shall we?
Firstly, why is there this assumption that boudoir photography (or any form of art) should be confined within the walls of 'tastefulness'? It's as if there's an unspoken rule that women must adhere to a certain level of modesty, even when exploring their own sensuality. What is that about?
I totally get that your personal style and taste mean you prefer your images to not be "slutty," and my personal style is an effortless flowing sensualness, that to fades intimate body parts into shadows for a more enticing and evocative feeling. But that's just me and what I do.
Each and every woman will bring their own ideas to their erotic and nude images.
What other get up to is really not our business.
As a boudoir photographer, my mission is to capture the essence of each individual I work with. It's about empowering women to embrace and celebrate their own unique beauty, to own their sensuality on their terms. We've never stipulated anyone needs to get naked or whatever. It's a choice. It's not about conforming to society's preconceived notions of what's deemed 'appropriate.'
The underlying issue seems to be this ingrained belief that women can't be trusted to make decisions about their own bodies and self-expression. It's as if society still clings to the outdated notion that women need a moral compass, dictated by someone other than themselves. How about we let women decide what's empowering for them?
Boudoir and nude photography is an art form that allows women (and men, and beyond the binary) to reclaim their narrative, break free from societal expectations, and embrace their sexuality authentically. Whether it's a nude boudoir shoot or an artistic nude photoshoot, it’s about taking control of one's own image and finding empowerment in vulnerability. So, when someone says, "I hope you keep it tasteful," what they might mean is, "I hope you conform to my idea of what a woman's sensuality should look like." Let's challenge that, shall we?
To all the amazing women out there—you are powerful, you are beautiful, and your choices regarding your own body are valid. Boudoir photography is a celebration of that autonomy, a rebellion against the notion that sensuality should be confined within the limits of someone else's comfort zone.
I feel like I create beautiful, emotive, and meaningful work, and I think my clients would definitely agree. Whether others would always find it tasteful? Not always, I'm sure...
...Let’s shift the conversation. Instead of questioning whether boudoir photography is 'tasteful,' let's ask why there's a need to police women's choices in the first place. It's time to break free from outdated norms and embrace the diverse expressions of sensuality. After all, true empowerment lies in the freedom to define it for ourselves.
Keep shining,
Patrick Falaniko
Owner & Lead Photographer | Goddess Studio | London Boudoir Photography
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